I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
