Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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