Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
