I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
