Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
