peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
