you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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