I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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