11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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