She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
