my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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