Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
