It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Enjoy the penises
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
