Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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