McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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