fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
