mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
