There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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