Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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