I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Someone came in the potted fern
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
