You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
