I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
