Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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