Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
