I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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