I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
