Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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