God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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