Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
