Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
