why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
How external is "for external use only"?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
