I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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