Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
