Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
