Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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