Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
