why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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