We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The ass gains better be worth it
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