You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
