It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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