Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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