Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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