I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
