It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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