This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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