I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
