I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Life is so much better after having sex.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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