I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
