Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
