big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
