I am full of burrito and curiosity
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
