i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
