You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
