Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
