How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
