You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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