I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize