12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i out mim tonsoeep
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